How to Get Emotional Intelligence

The 75%

While reading a recent Harvard business review article on resilience, they quoted a very interesting fact. A study by the Hogan group reveals that 75% of Americans say their immediate boss is the worst part of their job. A follow-up stat is that 65% of U. S. workers say they would take a pay cut if they could replace their immediate leader. Everybody gets a bad boss from time to time, but to have 75% say that the worst part of their job is their boss means that three fourths of the bosses out there are bad or incompetent at leading. And this brings a striking truth to the quote “people don’t leave jobs, they leave bosses!”

ThinkBig.com quotes Alex McMahon, and HR specialist and CEO of TwoFold, that “by and large people are willing to put up with certain negatives as long as they enjoy who they’re working for when that’s just not the case, there’s no reason to stick around. Nine times out of 10, when an employee says they’re leaving for more money, it’s simply not true. It’s just too uncomfortable to tell the truth.” She goes on to explain how people just will not work with incompetent and lousy bosses.

How to become a 25%er

You must decide what kind of leader you will be. Will you become the bad boss that most of us have and just dictate orders to get results? Or should we force ourselves out of our comfort zone to become the leader that will inspire our associates and motivate our employees to perform at their peak?

The basic things that can assist a leader most is genuine care about those she leads. That is something you are going to have to work on yourself. That is a decision you are going to have to make in both your mind and your heart. There are multiple studies that show the benefits of emotional intelligence in a leader. That is one of the reasons why one of my most asked about workshops is emotional intelligence and specifically how to get Emotional Intelligence. We realize it is a gap in our current leader process and skill set.

How to get Emotional Intelligence

If an emotional intelligence workshop is not readily available to you, there are several books you can read on the subject that can get you started. The first I would suggest is Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by TalentSmart. They are the wielder of today’s emotional intelligence knowledge and would be a great jumping off point. I cannot recommend this book enough to leaders. It will give you the basic knowledge you need then build into advance skills that will help you hone your ability to manage your emotions as well as recognizing and harnessing the emotions of others.

Another great resource is the HBR’s Emotional Intelligence Guide. It is easier to read than the Talent Smart version in my opinion and has some different ideas than that version as well.

The Other Factor

Time is one of the biggest factors that will contribute to your success. And I’m not talking about time is in “wisdom comes with age.” You must spend time with your people learning what makes them tick, what they look forward to in their day, where they find value, and how you can assist them in being the best they can be. In my past, I’ve set down with my employees and asked them these very questions. The response I received was nothing short of amazing. One lady told me that in her 40+ years of working, I was the first boss to ever stop and ask are those questions. The impact on my team was immediate. Not only because they felt I had an interest in them, which I did, but I also knew how to align them and motivate them to sustain their peak performance.

People know when another human being actually cares for them and has their best interest at heart. This is not a game where you can hide behind fake emotions in a plastered on smiley face. You must genuinely care about the people you work with and want what is best for them.

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